Not Cute, Not Attractive nor Beautiful...That's how I always feel about Myself!!! I will never look pretty in front of other people. No matter how hard I tried, I have to accept it that I will never look pretty. When I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, I always think to myself "Look how ugly you are!". YES ..That's me! I never appreciate what God has given me. One day, I feel like someone said to me that I've hurt God's feelings. Do I care about it??? the answer is "NO". I care of what people think about me, not God. I like to compare myself with other girls in my classes. I keep telling myself "Gloria, you are ugly". I wish I was someone else. Nothing can changed that feeling. The good news is God cares about my feelings. As I read my bible, God showed me some scriptures that makes me feel better about myself.
1 Peter 3:4
Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm can be deceiving, and beauty will fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised.
Psalms 139:13-14
You are the one who put me together inside my mother's womb, and I praise you because of the Wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is Marvelous ! of this I have no doubt.
In a book Every Young Woman's Battle, it says:
"Physical beauty isn't going to last forever and that our primary focus shouldn't be on outward beauty. However, the beauty that comes from Loving and Serving God with a happy heart is a beauty that endures even when your figures has fallen south and wrinkles adorn your face. True beauty doesn't come from fresh makeup, the latest hairstyle, or how you look in your blue jeans. Rather, it radiates from the inside out, from a heart that delights in the Lord.
These scriptures makes me think that God sees me on the inside. I don't need to try really hard to look pretty on the outside but on the inside by praising His name and brings Glory to Him. That's all I need to do to look pretty. Beauty will fades away but the beauty that shines inside of our heart will last. When we died, people will not remember how beautiful we were but how precious we were on the inside.
A week ago when I went to church, I remember the preacher was talking about "What we feel on the inside will reflects on the outside".
It really caught my attention, when the preacher said "Most of the time, we feel bad about ourselves, but there is one thing that we should know that God created us as His MASTER PIECE. God DID NOT CREATE JUNK! He created us for a purpose.
I know this is weird, but there is something inside of me who keeps telling me these things every time I feel "Not Pretty, well I just called it "My Invisible Friend"
It says: Gloria look at you, you have both legs and arms, two eyes and you don't have to wear glasses, you have two ears and they are perfect, beautiful black hair..and so much more everything is Normal. There is no reason for you to feel UGLY..!
These are other things that it says to me :
- Gloria, you were born as a Christian, God chose you from the beginning.
- God loves you so much for who you are
- You have wonderful parents.
- A really nice sister.
- Tons of Wonderful friends.
There is this one Beautiful woman named Lezlie\, she gave me a cute card before CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ), when I opened the card, the first thing that I read was" God had BLESSED you with UNCONTAINABLE JOY!! I thought that was the most ENCOURAGE thing that someone ever said to me. Whenever I feel that I am Not Good Enough or I am not Worthy, I always open the card and read it over and over and over again. Maybe she thinks that card is just a simple thing, but for me that card Means Everything and I will keep it forever.
The last thing I wanna say is "GOD DID NOT CREATE JUNK!!" We are precious in His eyes. What we have on the inside, is what matters to HIM ;)
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